How can it be? I know, I know…I start all of these letters with pretty much those same words.
It’s funny how it is almost impossible to remember life before kids. And I don’t mean what I did, or what life was like – that I remember just fine (and with an extra dose of gratitude for how ‘easy’ things were then) I mean that it defies my brain’s capacity to remember what life was like – and what the meaning of my life was – before my daughter entered into it. For me, the depth of love, sacrifice, and the all-encompassing richness of life that comes from having a child to adore, nurture, and watch grow is something that words can’t do justice to.
I still hold-firm to the same truths I lament each year – yes, it’s still going too fast. Yes, you’re growing up. Yes, it still feels like it was just the other day that I birthed you on that cold, blustery winter day. Yes, I still want to stop time, freeze-frame you, and deeply breathe-in that little girl and her melodious voice that echoes through our home.
The very voice that will, without-warning, sneak away into the night until I notice that out-of-the-blue, you won’t speak in the same sing-song lilt and utter those nonsensical jokes anymore.
You’ll sound older. Your conversations will move-on to more serious manners. We’ll still laugh but it won’t be over punchlines that don’t make sense to anyone but you.
While I still have so much to learn, I do know enough to recognize that I will yearn for the very day we stand upon right now.
There’s just this thing about a momma’s heart.
We can’t get your little face, your baby voice, your springy curls, your innocent giggles out of our minds. They’re stuck there like a time-capsule, ready to be opened for a day when we just miss you so.
You’ve been worth every sigh or exhausted utterance or verbal misstep I’ve ever taken at your expense. Your grace for your mother’s own human flesh still blows me away.
Those less-than-stellar parenting moments have refined me and forced me to grow up a bit, right alongside you.
And we’re still at it – growing up together. You and I.
You’ve taught me about animals. Gentleness. Selfishness. Giving. Loving my neighbour as myself. Stories in the Bible. Unconditional love. Tender hearts. There’s so much more…
But most of all, you’ve taught me, my precious child, a selflessness so utterly primal that I would literally die for you at any moment. A deep-rooted love that possesses a power I couldn’t ever have imagined before I became your mother.
A love that seeps into every ounce of my being and re-defines my purpose and makes all the other stuff that I thought was once my purpose pale in comparison.
To be your mother. That’s it. Plain and simple.
You are so beautiful in every possible way. You are smart, funny, loving, thoughtful, generous, creative, artistic, determined, strong, caring, happy, and brave. You are my daughter, and I am as proud of you as a mom can be. I am excited to see where you go in your life, what adventures you will have, and what wonderful things you will do.
Happy 8th Birthday, my beautiful Sophia. I Thank God every day for blessing me with you.
You are beyond fearfully and wonderfully made. Knitted together by a Creator that could only be Him.
I love you with every part of my being.